time – is it spent the way I want it?

the ans is no, with a bit of hesitation. perhaps not completely. some parts of it, i’ve been able to spend the time the way i want, the way i like, and the way i wish for.

everyone is indeed changing, character, behaviour, interests and preferences, tastes, and the way of spending time. the different ways are due to one’s energy level, environment, pple ard u and of cos the above mentioned. just visited all my frens’ blogs. the new entries? all less than 5.

at this age, no longer young and yet not too old. leaving sch for just 2 years, neither long nor short to being in the working society. i started asking myself this qn: am i spending life the way i want? else what is it that i want? i think i have the ans. theoretically that is. who knows what will be my ans after getting a taste of it? so now why am i not living the way i want? yes why?

no sense of direction. aimless. i know i cant lead such a life. no motivation. a colleague has told me that he likes what i’ve replied him: no heart no soul. just pure physical presence and attendance. the rest of my reply, i recalled: merely exchanging time with money. plus complaints everyday. definitely sounds bad so obviously nobody would want a life like that, except maybe for $$ since that’s the only incentive now. just like a lifeless form floating around from one pt to another, moving for the sake of moving, doing for the sake of doing.

am i just unlucky? or is it really the same everywhere? happiness and freedom i nid to work towards them. they will not just be given. if i want to feel happy and free, i nid to explore. so what i nid to build on is a little bit of patience and perseverance. and uphold the spirit of exploration. can i do it?

working life

 

very sad. it’s almost no life, except for the social life at work. after work, simply too tired to go somewhere far. the chore of travelling. and simply too tired to do things that were of no entertainment value, for this i mean enriching stuff or tidying up/cleaning etc. even though i very much wanted to do and complete all these. every morning all motivated to conquer this corner, to master this chapter but when evening comes all simply succumb to the procrastination. amazing, aware, true but not doing or rather cant do anything to counter that huge inertia. yawnnzzzz

anyway those of entertainment value…this show is nice. guess it follows the story of an anime. story of an editor to a comic writer or rather a family. the female is pretty, indeed resemble and a more pleasant version than cynthia koh. the poster isnt really very attractive as its too girly and almost look like the meteor garden or hana yori dango. but i’m glad i click on it. it’s different and better than expected. presenting Himitsu no Hanazono