Apologise with sincerity, a habit to be taught since young to build a culture

http://www.cuppacocoa.com/a-better-way-to-say-sorry/

Tat is a habit to learn and a culture to develop. How true. If kids can do that, adults should too.

How right, the willingness to say sorry needs to come from within. It is not jus paying lip service to close the case and give in. The offender needs to learn what he is actually sorry for. Put some thot into it even when there is anger. The apology can come later too after reflection, better late than sorry and best of all, u mean what u say, with sincerity. 

Refusing to say sorry could be jus ego, or u do not want the other person to think that he is right. Haha he says sorry cos im right. No! Becos to counter such thot, i refuse to say sorry. Now question is how to make both realise both are at fault. I know my mistake, do u? A fight started often cos both are at fault in some ways. The articles illustrates well, for parents to teach the kids and for teachers to teach their students, for us to teach ourselves and our peers.

An account of a saturday

Tried to start the day with a happier self, as compared to the usual " why do i have to wake up now " day. Was still slpy, but still dragged myself to the sink to get my teeth brushed. A self induced happiness to begin the day, hopefully more excitedly. Went bfast with mum n bros, always a heartwarming affair and really treasure the get together time of the wk, which soemtimes we may even missed. Bros often have more to talk abt at these times, but when we meet occasionally for dinner in the wkday, i will be doing most of the talk. All larks, and they use the chance to talk abt work (complain basically) and interesting encounters they had and some hilarious talks abt aspirations. 

Then accompany merv to sitex, psychoed myself to embrace the crowds. He got his note edge and off we go, no weaving thru the crowded halls. Not so bad, and i really tried to smile at the people who issues brocuhres and touting. Dun start with the irritated mood then all's fine, i wonder if they like their job. Even if they r part timers or temporary workers who r mostly students getting some spare cash in the hols, do they enjoy it? I din even think of applying such positions when i was 10 yrs younger, waste paper leh..they shld put more recycle bins ard. Paper recycling bins.

When we came out, the corridors were freezing. Raining...there goes my cycling trip. Decided to sit in the car and go to the crematorium. Stayed in the car, drove ard abit in the peaceful surrounding. Stopped the car engine while letting some air in without keeping the windows entirely up but then a mosquito flew in, so left the gap really small. Drizzle, even the sky is mourning. The bamboo create serenity, nobody else at all, real peace. So i jus sat there and stone while waiting. First time i actually enjoyed waiting.

Then to chongbang for lunch at 4pm, quite a happening heartlandish neighbourhood indeed. I think this is prolly the 2nd or 3rd time i went there. I was super slpy after lunch, yet cant slp at all, even after we went home. Pulled out a show " what dreams may come " starring robin williams. Not too bad. N then we jus grabbed ramly burgers from pasar malam for dinner. Not v hungry leh.

Haven been blogging abt the day's events for the longest time. This is what i used to think a journal or diary shld be, but well, as we grow, erm or age, we think it isnt the case. I hesitate cos i got a fren who told me boys dont grow up, they jus grow old. He is a man btw. Hahaha..Then what abt gals? I think sama sama also la...pro side is to retain the cuteness, con side is be immature.

An account of roll eyes incidents

Alot went thru my mind today. Ah for this post, i type it local on notes. Cos the last time i blogged, the entire post was mysteriously wiped.. Wat on earth?! But anyway i remembered that the last post was inspired by incident reports. Too many during that period. One after another 接二连三，祸不单行. Idioms are so aptly invented. And we had the itrca course, document every single thing. The thinking process is the same, jus different tools. Systematically drill down to the cause and avoid assumptions. Very common problem among IT pple, realised this common trait among IT network engineers, they use gut feeling or experience, but seriously to a layman like me, their statement doesnt make sense logically. Got a chance to demonstrate the rca for the kiosk proj. Problematic, intermittent, we sat down and draw everywhere on the board with all the evidence collected and detailed down the next course of action. Insisted that we can do something else other than jus claiming network is intermittent, server jus not responding, or app is still ok. How do u know it is ok? Did u stand by the kiosk and watch it 24 hrs? A few times we watch users, caught a few incidents alr and had to offer assistance. To us, out of the 10 times on site, 8 of it kenna incidents, that is 80% and obviously not ok. This intermittent issue shld be drilled down into the issues. My gut feeling, the coding parameters. So nvm lets do iteration. Today another swarm of alerts, i hope someone takes this up and continue the analysis pls, dont wait for me. Details kill me. But over 3 wks no improvement, got to step in, so it is not i enjoy it, i had no choice. I will avoid generating additional work, but the issue is too severe, we need to invest some time. Anyway they did a great job, they can answer almost all my qns, without those facts, we wont be able to go thru that discussion so i applaud and hats off their eyes for details. Without the figures and understanding of the situation well, we cant analyse. So yea so since they had done their job, prolly piecing these up is my job. I shld do it, but i think i will be successful only if someone can do it on my behalf. Maybe i shld be a teacher.

I still have a lot to do, so am i really nicely loaded? My team mates say so, but i shld review mine, i thot if they ok i ok. But end up this whole wk, all mtgs (had to skip some tho i need to attend) and come back to office im assisting them more than doing my stuff. Of cos by assisting them, i indirectly get alot more completed. But i realise, the pace isnt good yet, im still having 300 unread emails everyday after dumping the 2000 emails into archives without reading, and seriously it doesnt hurt me! Once or twice i had some info gap but the freq is low, that means i can archive more! Happy. I still have alot of drawings haven gone thru, din have time to clear. Wats worse is i cant clear them without a concurred concept. So when someone told me i have bad reputation of not coming back to them, i had to defend by sayin i ask alr, nobody wants to give me ans. i have provided my personal view but i know some pple may have differing views and yet dun want to confirm. Seriously, im as pekcek as u all are.

Today i make oka san happy. I cfmed a few principles. Execute by principles wont be too wrong. Oka san hates undecisiveness and inconclusive mtgs, which i totally can relate. But sometimes it is beyond my control. One of the few guys i know hinges strongly on this. I also explain and countered when jon says as long as isms is cleared for exceeding asml, if ap is below isms then shld be cleared right. Principle-ly yes but im afraid the approval was given based on exceptions of a security system, so they all agree to chk back. If there is a reason, pple are convinced. If the considerations are not clearly articulated, then all will be bugged to revisit the same thing over and over again. Unproductive. Actually we not bad le wat, we foresee and clear some of the stuff internally before they even asked. Those that come up last min, if internal pple dun want to give me ans, or i dun haf time to got thru with them, we need more time. So from this angle, the non timeliness, we are still overloaded. Speed is compromised. Or maybe jus cant get pple also.

The team in general is good, relieved, much better than the other disciplines and the horror stories i heard. This bunch is less political, easier to work with, and we work for the right outcome. Got a handful tho, either they r too blur, or they r too smart to act blur. Done a few times of scolding, how can the lines be anyhow removed, jus cos the comments say so? I mean it is obvious that the system wont work right? Anyway the comment was misinterpreted. My concern was more on blindly following what they think the instructions are and do without thinking. Gosh. How many times mus we chk the dwgs for their mistakes. Asked ian to work smart with us. We do no objection subject to comments. They are held responsible for complying with the comments which are mostly principles, any exceptions shall be highlighted n be reviewed. Dun let them keep resubmitting and then we keep chking. How to finish 80 drawings + resubmissions? Ian is afraid without resubmissions they dun understand what they r doing, valid, so we said resubmit as shop drawings, lets get past the concept design phase, otherwise they will complain IT is delaying them with changes or whatever crap. This is jus an excuse by them. Im wary when conversing with some of the peeps, trying to find some scapegoats for their delay. Roll eyes. Applying iq in the wrong way. Disappointing.

Another wat on earth. How can they not turn up for their own mtg? Blacklisted. I go is purely jus to help the person. But if he is the one who arranges the mtg when the needed pple are nt ard then is he kok up. Din clarify. I took my time in the previous mtg, din leave early, jus wait till all is over then i join. Anyway alr say the consultant come and lead ma, then we ask twice, still dun want to include the consultant, then now leave his own colleague in the lurch, win liao. I dun wan to end up doing others work again, so i also asked al dun nid to attend. He managed well, i helped to clarify the intent, and stop thinking is IT supposed to do every damn thing. The purpose is jus get the right scope and sensors are placed for some purpose and not anyhow plant. Solution everyone is sourcing so dun think that why IT haven come up with the solution. It is contractors job to find the solution once the rqm are clearly articulated to them. The existing trial is to verify so that the contractor dont smoke us with sub standard products. Thats all. I mean why does user keep pushing work to us ah, how come nobody is defending? Like the points are plotted for discussion v good alr leh. So well, they all nod their head, they say they will discuss internal to ao. I shall make myself scarce.

Before that mtg also, why do we need to compile ao's budget ah? Seriously either projs or pmo do it la...we replied one month ago. And I purposely stay behind and throw it back immed tat night. So as expected nobody did the compilation, one month later, they r still referring to the old version. So qn qn qn lor. We are not responsible in doing the compilation hor. Hmm...isa cannot assess what is to be done by us and whats not, then end up not completing her own stuff faster. the relocation cost mine, i got a shock to know that the dynamite is still with us. We werent even told of the rqm, how to budget? So what if it is IT system, we dont dictate the qty leh. So today also deflect it back. Wa this one explain the logic many times liao, pple still think we need to solve it. Something is wrong. We got to solve tog, pmo or proj has the whole pool, pmo can help grab savings and defray the deficit here. Point put across explicitly and they agree. Im lucky to haf t4 as ref. if everyone is new, everyone swims like wat we did for t4. Got template jus follow la, more efficient. Problem is lack of knowledge sharing and lessons learnt. And the pple who know the most had no time to guide the pple. The system sucks. 

Dunno today why got energy to type. Letting out. All complaints. But among these, there r lessons learnt. When i need to come in and battle, something went wrong somewhere, someone or something mus haf created the perception. And why is it that work is not done by the respective parties when they r supposed to? I think some defensive or impatient tone is right and required. They will rmb the expression. And somehow get things sorted out before the next mtg. Instead of assume here and there, i thot she do, blah blah blah. If words cannot be used explicitly like ao pls do and present next mtg. Then use tone as the indirect method lor. The jigsaw cannot be completed without everyone's inputs. We finished our part. Full stop. Helping one another doesnt work here as it results in setting precedence. It is a very unhealthy culture. Im aware not to be trapped in it. So everytime i help but i think it is not my job, i will say explicitly, seriously this is not IT's job. I will do it out of goodwill to help u and only once, cos it is only for u. As in, dun want to promote the culture of drawing lines and pple start defending here n there. I will still help but the person shld be aware and not take for granted. There r some who are auto, understands the goodwill and return it another time. Such allies are beneficial, culture is healthy too.

And same sentiments with al, why do we need to do useless things for pple esp when it is their job to get it. U want to chase us u carry on, im not gg to be stressed by u like i used to be, i jus passively pass msg lor, the ball is on others court, im jus a messenger. Seriously, depend on the purpose, i can jus be bo chup. U want it, go get it urself. Dun think we 随传随到 and have to get so many things for u. Manage ur own projs. Let u get a taste of see u get what u want jus by sitting there poking others or bugging pple every single day. Crap leh, the typical culture which i loathe. Really cmi. Think they r at the top can shake leg. No wonder things dun move...like take how many yrs to do one thing. Starting upfront told u so alr, now still chase at ur tail n expects help. Crossing the zone into potential blacklist. U can avoid specific pple but u cant avoid culture, there is a mix currently, abit of hope, thanks to those who come frm private sectors n those few exceptions who arent polluted.

风になる

http://youtu.be/bD5ioI1bEPc

What on earth?

Supposed to have an entry, inspired from the incident reports detailing a personal encounter....but it is gone after alt tab, what on earth? anyhow too lazy to re write..forget abt it le...

And i realise recently, there are so many what on earths...