Farewell, 2012

Watch "Owl City - When Can I See You Again? (From Wreck it Ralph)" on YouTube

Nice end to 2012. Amazing that l got motivated to finally clear my office cubicle on time. Yes, I did declare to clear it before xmas.and then , decided that I may not have enough time to do so, thus l gave myself more leeway to amend my declaration publicly that I will do it before the new year.

really a good anecdote.Just listening to someone lamenting at her colleague 's desk condition, which does somehow sound like mine. How effective that is. the chinese proverb with direct translation as "scolding the pagoda tree while pointing at the mulberry tree". She doesnt know abt my desk but I admitted and have attempted to invite her over to clean up for me but was ignored obviously. And so determined, drag my feet over the next day and spend a good 2.5 hrs clearing up. Even the cupboard and pedestal. Tho I somehow lost the interest to continue with the overhead compartment. Pulling down the cover got the job done tho. Oh and oops sry that my poor pal has to shift my shoes a little under the desk for a finishing touch. I bet nobody else notice the footwear la.

And next got the new toy which I've decided long ago. Not difficult with this shopping item. Tho still with complaints abt this jelly bean. I shall try to explore and maximise its functions as a good personal assistant. I still need it despite its shortcomings.

A bandaged mind. So having short term memory is as terrible as having an unkempt cubicle? At least they are perceived. Gosh adding more stress to being a better person. For my good I shall try. It is a fine line between remaining as who I am and changing for someone or something. Wonder how long it will last. Life's easier being who u are. Just treasure and be grateful for those who accept u for who u r. Perception is something that is tiring to manage. As long as it doesnt compromise over smth else.....sighz...i know it does tho. I think there are more feeling type of pple so got to take care of them abit.

Strike me smth else earlier on too. Competition. Ive stepped out of it for a long time. Prior to that I guess I was much more competitive. More achieving. Most of time, pple realised that there is no pt in chasing after so many things when they are older. There are nany other things which are worth more effort and focus. Did I age faster? Gosh. Or maybe it is the gen y thing. Quitters, some had stereotyped. Of cos not true! Jus dont bother to compete. U can race ahead if u want to. Without a competitor, it is no fun racing anyway. it is the process not the outcome. U observed alot more things along the way when u focus less on reaching the finishing the line. But if u reached it first, it is a bonus.

However, probably competition gives the drive and motivation. A more hectic but enriching life. As compared to a more at-ur-own-pace, medal-less life. probably I will choose to try another model. Race together with ur counterparts, against ur own target and time. Not with others. That I can balance betw achieving and smelling the roses by the roadside. N the bonus outcome would be shared joy. Better than holding up the medal without pple clapping ard u.

N here goes 2012 soon. The first countdown which I still recall is the millenium year. N now 12 years have passed since that. As we march into 2013, wish everyone great health and well being above all wishes throughout another fulfiling year. Changed happiness to well being with the latter being defined as the having more positive emotions than negative ones. U cant be having happiness only as which is no longer termed without the other emotions to contrast against anyway.

Welcome to our lives in 2013!

Is it game over or is it not

20 dec 2012. 20122012. The last to happen, no 13th month, sounds v phantom. Thus aws used to sound phantom to me.

Then comes 21 dec 2012. The Maya's prophecy of apocalypse. Aint it jus that their calender ends, then the cycle repeats itself or jus time to make a new calender? Nasa scientists have more work to do probably. Gives pple a common topic to rave abt and the preppers a reason to celebrate when the prophecy fails. those who draw their last breath on d-day, it is indeed the end of one's world. Perception isnt it? Spiritually, emotionally or physically. End of one is the beginning of another anyway.

Dark clouds loom over the sky for most days of the month. Rainy season. Temperature dipped. A week ago, went strolling in the drizzle with dad. Botanist spotting plants. Mango, jackfruit, durian, and then a string of scientific names in chinese tho. Spotting camouflaged insects and birds, knowing that they are there after rain. Sugoi.

Why werent we taught in sch? Basic isnt it, prior to studying xylem and phloem. Gg micro without knowledge of identifying plants in real life by their leaves and flowers. If i wasnt in pri sch science club for a year, i wouldnt have known ixora, allamanda, oleander, spider lily, birds of paradise n the different types of ferns on rain trees n angsana trees. Cat tail, lotus and lily in the pond. Limited. All within the sch compound. But thats the only hands on. Text book pictures do not show the full picture.

Haha and then comment abt why didnt the officials plant more flowers, as there r mostly trees only, and no sculptures like gardens in europe. It is sg and not exactly a garden lo. They shld have more lasting metal plates with the plant names both english and chinese installed. The prints were fading and almost illegible alr. Great energy for a man his age.

We get a wkend before xmas eve and actual xmas day. Liven up the atmosphere with blinking lights and merry xmas classic songs. The tree in office is really pretty, kudos to those who decorate it. Even the office gift exchange occupy us for one of the lunches. Really do not understand the presentation part. Why cant we informed of our nos and then rush to get the xmas presents under the tree? Might have some logic behind but it really isnt explicit. Really cant understand. Then the following wk repeats with a new yr's eve and the new yr's day. Yay!

Prep for xmas and jus make a simple wish for a silent and peaceful night.

It is not so easy to be consistent

Consistently refreshed. Getaways and wkend outings form short recharges but u know it doesnt really work once u landed back in the heap of xxxx. The target recharging power should be done during the daily lives.

When u r too tired, do u think of the reasons? How then can i avoid being so tired?

Morning found paw prints and dung! Urgh. Infer. Cat. Crap. So lucky didnt pounce on my bed when im slping. I would have died last night. Investigating where does it come from, some windows left opened? Whose cat? How can a pet cat enter another's house? Urgh the thot of a cat in the house is spine chilling. Could this be the reason of being drained today? But the thots only bothered me before work. After that i was occupied wat. Bad start probably.

Realise interest. Really a major trait for entps. If there is interest, no problems at all. Easy peasy. Auto pilot. It will be carried out and fulfilled.

When there is none, alot of resistance. Why mus it be done? Then when one searches for reasons to convince oneself to do it, alot of energy has been zapped. Balance is needed to counter this. Not to bother arguing.

Shld convert boredom to interest. Gosh boredom and impatience are the archilles heel. Impedance. Amazing! Struck me when someone mentioned today with wide eyes! Huh long? It has only been 30 secs confirm less than 1 min. I was like really?! Shucks. Gets worse when im in a hurry. Hectic and bustling, flustered and exhausted. But seriously why the need to hurry? Take it easy and pace oneself.

Contradicting. Hamburgered. Pacing means taking a longer time to complete. Draggy. Obviously tired! Prolonged suffering.

frowning for sure, physical fatigue from the facial muscles. Watched pple use computers for abt 10 min today. Observed their facial expressions. how their facial muscles work. Learning.

Ah working the cerebrum. sometimes Not Everything needs to make sense isnt it. I realise i talk to myself alot with the mind. Soliloquizing in silence. No wonder so tired. Zip zip. Not the mouth but the mind. jus need the 5 senses during observations. Pick up. Imitate. Does that require talking to oneself. Jus passive copying wat. Cant. I talk the most when studying pictures. Indeed pictures speak more than a thousand words. Metaphorically? No. Literally. If not 10,000 words.

Thus tsukareda. Sighz. At least a step to realisation for lasting longer along a winding path with limited time and energy.

Not so easy to be consistent? Tired or refreshed.

Rummaging thru the bits of life

In a cab. Amazing! He decorated his cab. Except for the heaps of tissue papers at the coner of the right hand side of the windscreen which i do not term them as decorations. Sunflowers and a liverpool decal. Playing retro 80s or 90s cantonese songs. This uncle seems v settled in his cab, while he is on the road most of the time probably. Omoshiroi. To the temple.

Dearest grandma, wonder how have u been doing for the past 8 years. Strangely, my memory of the night when i was violently shaken awake but regreted for the lack of courage to open my eyes, and the dream of u smiling warmly at me when i was queueing, for what i dunno, remains fresh and vivid. Jus like yesterday. Images of u smiling shyly and shaking ur head in response to my whys then finally mumbled "ah ma buay hiau", patting on my head gently. Hee i will run away seeking answers then come back and tell u abt it. But i dont know how much u understood me. I was struggling with hokkien. And for us, u picked up mandarin. Grandma is one figure whose presence and smile as acknowledgement is everything that is required. I really missed u. Wonder what would it be like if u are around at this age. Are u really aware when all of us visited the temple. What are doing now exactly? Did u manage to meet up with gramps?

Day out with pops. Always interesting to listen to him commenting on things he observes. He has an inventive mind. He is amazed at how far i can cycle. But im amazed at his energy level in walking. By dinner time, i was super slpy alr. Somemore i had an extra period of rest staring out at the river while he toured the cloud dome with my bro n gf. Then we went over to barage to fly kites. Haha so cute, he was enjoying the sense of achievement bringing it high up into the sky. I told my bro, pros dun nid to run. Then he really nv run. Haha. So easier for me to capture him on photos. Classic shots. N first time, string broke. Went ard searching. Luckily caught the cleaner in the act of clearing it! Retrieved back. Some repair work required.

Phone calls, emails, texts. Feel sorry to disturb pple on wkends also. Ransacking brains and fumbling for interims, minimising ops disruption and containing issues. Supporting and facilitating, avoiding being the bottleneck. Ops. The life of ops is back after 1 yr plus. Transition period tho. Hajime of ops.

Randomly, totally believed my colleague when he texted:

I cry in my sleep everynight and wake up from nightmares that the mouse came alive when I was using it.... Also, every morning I would have a nervous breakdown for almost 15 mins and lament on my poor and sorry fate at CAG. Then I will go to work and pretend everything is fine when it is not. Sometimes I will go to the toilet and punch the flushing system out of frustration and that was only the first year....

Nv doubted it at all until he admitted. Gosh. Talking abt gullible. I re-read it after him owning up. Why on earth did i believe that in the first place?! Doesnt feel cheated for sympathising. Haha. Actually my first thot was wa so cham and wouldnt that be considered as vandalising? spoiling toilet flush? Farnie. Interesting pple are what make working life fun. Cynical humour, but c'mon shld be embracing it. and really shld it is commendable of him for such creative and imaginative thots!

My quote: life without problems is boring. My belief. Sadistic to some.

Drizzle after the torrential

Watching the wipers sweeping left and right as the rain drops falling lightly on the windscreen. Pitter patter pitter patter. When was the last time since i watched the rain falling from the overcast sky onto the solid glass panes? a familiar stoning activity. The time jus seems to come to a standstill. For that short stay in the vehicle. The backdrop is a nice new building. Usual admiration for nice architecture , otherwise would have probably find certain countries less interesting. It is the rainy season again.

Wedding dinners. Catching ups are always refreshing. Descriptions of one another's encounters and happenings. Relating events which u probably wont reminiscise with the usual grp u hang out with, at least not so frequently probably. of cos i cant eliminate the fact of some's preference over repeating multiple times for different grps of audience.

Mbs' really the ambience is at the convention centre and not the hotel. So each hall was taking an event each. Gd business. Swissotel fairmont really blew it. ill preparation. My fren lost patience totally. A few of us were jus self servicing and really give the poor servers a break. The manager is to blame. They dont seem to be exactly understaffed. Jus dunno their own roles. Fun observing them. How can serve dishes without the common fork and spoon and worse the soup without spoons for all the guests? And another dish without issuing plates. Then another stacking the new plates onto the used plates with leftover crumbs from the previous dish. The bride is a perfectionist, really if she gets to know, they are so gg to get an earful. Gd luck to them. Haha knowing her, surprised that the groom mentioned her traits in his speech openly! Tolerance and being adaptable are really his strengths. Not sarcasm. Jus reality. It has been so many years anyway.

Another fren was mentioning abt accepting wedding invitations the other day. Strange, really nv occur to me before. Despite the pref of not attending any of such, i'll still turn up if im available. Got to miss it if im overseas. Then another discussion on who to invite when u r the host. I was quite surprised at how the pple r chosen. Gosh. Matter of fact probably but still relatively harsh. as in handling such events so pragmatically. Urgh. Somehow, lack of humanity and sincerity. Really will not go thru all these. Somemore got to act social butterflies for that day, wearing frozen smiles. So might as well spare the guests who do not prefer attending such events anyway. I shall treasure the choice and freedom that i have as i know some couples are jus fulfilling parents' wishes of holding a banquet. Wat weird wishes tho.

Another corporate cluster event. Not bad a place really. Finally got to see it after hearing stories at sembawang airbase which is nearby. Morning activity, they actually got an app with more than 100 questions. With tasks ard the country club and google really remain the best pal. M1 network is also significantly faster than the rest, probably with fewer subscribers. Afternoon project runway. Agree that thru this, we saw how creative pple can be. Beyond expectations. U come to realise how much the teams can actually achieve. Some scripts are really superbly entertaining. Hilarious. And we took the lunch away from the crowd, watching the rain forming ripples in the swimming pool. We all got different coloured wristbands and when we show the photo, how gay can janet be? She can guess whose hands are those all correctly! 100%. Unbelievable. Seriously, who observes pple's hands?!

Nice restaurant with a nice name. Yes 2D1N. Has raised many eyebrows. Those first time hearing it was like huh? Staying over at sembawang? Really it was jus dinner after the event. Nice food. Korean kimchi, rice cake and the sweet tasting rice drink were yummy. But feel trapped and overdose of bbq smoke after 2 hrs. Choking. Overpowering. Smells like bbq from head to toes. Still want to hang ard? I really jus want to jump into a pool of foam. And as always, the best time of bbq buffet, make it seem like we are not wasting food. Missed those sec sch thrills. No potted plants this time tho. Am
surprised none at the table did that before! Mus be something wrong with my sch and my bro's sch. How well we relate those times. I think the restaurants are more relaxed on those rules after our era. Who wants to do the cleaning up later? Will really be amazed if no teens do that anymore. Then we were really rather incorrigible. Shucks. Now is mild and we shld.