Xi huan ji mo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGD2F1Dy634&feature=youtube_gdata_player

當時奮不顧身伸出我的手
看見了輪廓就當作宇宙
甜美的習慣變成生活
才了解了什麼
如今故事發展成就一個我
學會了生活能享受寂寞
劇烈的語言變成溫柔
又帶來了什麼
若是不曾走過 怎麼懂

THE WEEK

THE week. Not just THE day.

Test of endurance and resilience during the week. At the very least, there is something call weekend. For some, when is the weekend and when are the weekdays? There isnt a difference, for them what then pulls them thru? Willpower and mindset, cant be feeling torturous every day and look forward to the so-called wkend. Aye actually everyday is great, when u come to think of it.

Life is unfair? No, I choose not to believe in this n beg to differ. It is about what u do to make it fair. what is wonderful is how the mind looks at it. What the mind focuses n chooses. I find some similarities in shrek forever which i happened to see when i switched on the tv last wkend. While some yearn for company and love from all, popularity, cheers and laughters, some longed for solitude, loneliness, peace and emptiness. Ironic. Scratch-head for some. The opposite sch of thots cant be understood by the opposition parties. Nothing to be envious of, says one. U are taking things for granted, says the other. 

Since the day i got wiser, the more u want something, the more it will not happen to u. The more u let go, the more it keeps coming back to u. Sometimes, some things are not meant to be pursued. While there are things right before you, stop, cherish and enjoy them.

A frowning face is worse than a sad face. Uber tiring. Uglier. I know wat i should work on. Not fun to be sick the entire week, and when im unwell, i actually dislike to push myself. I know i can endure for sure prolly lucky cos im still young relatively. Instead of enduring, i'd rather be alone, i actually enjoy loneliness like shrek. Weird. Bad prolly, when will i regret this? I'm really lucky and blessed to have so many showering me with wishes, celebrations and pressies. Very touched, but oddly feel more trashy cos i cant rmb their bdays or nv celebrate or nv give pressies. Thru these yrs, im always struggling with this, but i learn to fully enjoy it first. Put the "guilt" aside, i sincerely thank wat is given to me and be drowned in the warmth and love. Cos those who give, really want to, not for reciprocation, and seeing that the person liking it is enuff. I know it, cos im like tat too when im the giver. I dont take these for granted. For those who really want to be immersed in such bliss but arent getting, try stop wishing for it, it will come to u.

Despite the disgusting worklife which i ridiculously dont even have the time to reply msges properly, not to mention calls, and the poor health, i pushed myself to respond to the invitations. No obligation at all, only have to be wary not to spread the bug. If i procrastinate, it may never happen. Poor life mgmt indeed. i really want to attend. Thanks for the comfort , in various forms that has been provided.

Im working on removing the adjective for my worklife, it is the mindset. The new adjective shall be discovered soon.

Shichi gatsu no toka

The tenth day of the seventh month of the year. Suiyobi. Wednesday. Fav day of the wk and also my fav element, sui. Tats water.

Another coincidence. Got to see 10:07 on 10 jul. No intention of waiting in front of the clock face. Jus happen when i checked the phone. Decided a sg hawker bfast over the atas brunch which we voiced out that we can go try for at least half a yr? Nv get to gg there. Restaurants nv fail to amaze me with charging 500bucks per pax for dinner and yet there r patrons. Really 50per pax for brunch is alr too atas for me. With 10 bucks at the hawker, i can have so much goodies. Yet, sgporeans r so rich or so willing to spend on food which after digestion, comes out as.....

Bdays are like normal days to me but i got chided. Like shld have some 闲情意识 or some 雅兴 to erm...make it more special than normal days? Yea prolly if i dont, i become a robot? Urgh. N so, i try to psycho myself it is a special day. Anyway it is a gd excuse to be carefree, and live like a king that day. Taking leave off work becomes a must. Haha tho will be great if everyday is like such but it wont become special anymore. Oh maybe the other way will work, live like a beggar for tat day. Urgh...cant imagine living like a king everyday and being poor for only once a year. Luxurious. Being kings are boring. Being beggars arent fun as well. But being the sandwiched grp sounds worse...gosh im slipping into the sianness mode again...i can bicker with my mind and then both slip into the "okok, why are we doing this?" And then an external voice will say "there is no why" from used to be high notes n clenched fist to a duh look and monotonous voice. Shrugs.

I luv my bday. When i open my eyes and saw the blue sky, i jus know it will be a gd day. How to recreate this state every other day right?

watched now u see me. ....arh arh.....really the tendency to complete the sentence....now u dont. Hahah.....nice show, wits and plots, magic is deception used to delight and entertain. Fast moving, some qn marks as to the incomplete development of certain scenes but one tends to not logic with it cos u know it is magic, thus itself is alr gd for deceiving movie plot critics, i thot. haha unless u r a magician urself. The closer u think u are, the less u actually see. Unique. Most of the time i am awed at the plans, the ability to plan a few steps ahead. It is like u have to be the smartest in the room.

My fav activity too. Slumped into the bed at the end of the day. Time to rest the weary mind and body. Good night!

It is July again

July has always been my favourite month, for obvious reasons. It is the psychoed celestial month that i check if im on track and am doing what i really care for. most of the time, i'll feel sad haha. So better not to review to skip the melancholism. Really wonder if im a sanguine actually. It is not an unspoken expectation that one should grow, in wisdom as u age. The last year with the 2 at the front, before hitting the big 3. Being mid summer, always a great time to travel north, after the peak june holidays.

Good to start the month in a new place, after the sunday packing. How many times have i shifted in total? 5? Ah tat makes once a yr! Quite fun actually, a new place, a new direction, except for the initial huge inertia n i will complain damn alot for the need to shift. Haha when asked where do all my things go, actually hor, it is really all that u see, it was jus untidy, this tidiness will be temporary la. The stuff in the cabinets not shifted yet, need to wait for the furniture, if they are even coming in. Shrugs. Shower of blessing, so deva ju, the last time i shift, i also knocked over some beverage. Today was some herbal tea to cure my throat, lucky not yucky to drink, pray that it doesnt aggravate tomorrow. Happy jul!