All of us have these both sides right, depends on which is more active, as in which side plays more predominantly as you. As me. I am opinionated, i have my own position, and at times i need to quarel cos im representing someone else's position. Got to explain like hell. When pple do not get that it isnt my position, when they are so focused in the argument, they really din hear my caveat upfront, "there r 2 sch of thots" or "im playing the devil's advocate". And they jus got so heated up, gd gd, u stood strong on ur position. U can fight for ur own stand and justify it accordingly. U understood the subject perfectly. As compared to those who are ok with either stand, tends to sway and unable to rep either side of the debate, but then these are peaceful pple who will not cause any disagreements since there is no offer of the other viewpoint. Pple may be keeping mum as well so as not to be quoted, seriously not our problem, why take it so hard? Are these things then worth fighting for? What is it that you will lose? Actually giving up execution, u will lose trust wont u? Lose credibility. Does it matter?
when u wear the enterprise lens, u tend to create complications. It is not a position easy to be in. Then when u highlight there is this side of story, instead of being appreciated to have caught this gap in time, the blame was placed upon for making the wrong assumptions. I mean seriously, it'd better be wrong. Isnt that at least better than having nothing included at all, following jus the existing set up, not knowing there is another side that is already on going, planning for the future. Adding more is the worst case scenario, more is better than less. The info didnt pass thru their way and so they do not trust the info that is passed from the other direction. It is up to u. U can reject it, jus shake heads and say that no u were not told. Life goes on, by the time u get the trusted intel, it is game over, and then jus state that u were not informed lor. The outcome remains not achieved. This is the devil.
When u start to question what happened to the conversations that led to such reactions after the pure simple intent of bringing up another side of the story that is ongoing as well, u wont go and argue the devil's way. Prolly stress, prolly tone, prolly an act to display in front of others, prolly feel left out for not being informed, whatever the reasons, there should be an ignition. And now when i resolve it to be the tone, im confused what was it that provokes me in changing the tone. I mean, the usual tone shouldnt be like tat right. Tho it is also not new that the tone that came out wasnt what i felt as well. I dunno why the interpretation was like tat, maybe really need to joke abt it, cannot be too serious, as pointed by a colleague as well. Then when im really being myself, pple will comment that i am like a child, too cute to be others' boss. Actually cant we be the fren type of boss, like ek and damian, they r fine egs. Do u really need the so called boss' demeanour. Addressing to my dad's advice as well. Shrugs, i got to remind myself that im not in an entrepreneuring environment.
On the contrary when we tried to reject info, we were told to cast the net to catch all. U see, u need pple to run with u, who has the time to scrutinise the diagrams? This is different from, ok i assign u these fibres, i assign u this rack space. Im not making other comment cos nv see the diagram at all. Well it was rejected in the first place with basis, not our systems, they have their own positions, they din consult, they run wild, we have no resource no time to catch them anyway, better stay out. Now net is to be cast, without an ans on how these concerns are addressed, ok lor force pple to run, either we become bottleneck or we overlook and then we will be blamed for whatever wrong diagrams that had gone thru us. The rest can sit back and enjoy more, having no worries no responsibilities. Instead of using the first approach of sorry din go thru us, we were not consulted, not our probs. now we r bringing in the probs. and then we will all struggle in silence jus to fulfil an overly ambitious want. Pple are so kind. Or prolly pple will jus try their best. I shld be like them, dont need to stomach all the stress to make the tasks mistakes free, anyway later may still blamed for doing the wrong things. No OT will be for this. If this is not victimised, what is this? Devil again.
Jus take things as they come, not going to argue alr, lets see how things pan out using this approach. Lets see how many tasks can we complete on time, executed accordingly and which will slip. Anticipated. Wont plan too much, jus go with the flow. Actually how come a P person plan so much, and i confirm i am high P leh. Dotz. Grateful that help is rendered and approach is directed out in the end still. I achieve the outcome of highlighting or surfacing an issue, i shld stay open with the approach, all may turn out fine. No planning needed, and this is my natural pref, take one step at a time. Dont do tasks prematurely. More imptly, dont hold mtgs prematurely, esp when things keep changing. Toxic mtgs. Anyway really, those that we had caught save us from last min hassle, is not something that will win us any trophy. Tats the bad culture, how come good things are not glorified and appreciated or worse not aware of this at all but when something bad happens, the treatment and attention are adversely amplified. The excuse given for the former case, will be jus mentioning that it is not visible. I can only say whatever, continue to live life this way, it is a choice. Instead of putting it off, u shld be alerted and informed that oh ok i din know. And shld start being grateful. Wat is in this dog eats dog world? As a reminder to myself, never lose urself and never start following this trend. It is a choice, and u dont need to follow the flow. When u start to lose the fighting spirit and resigning ur fate, time to change environment. Gosh, im visualising myself reading this 5 yr later. Like a premonition...nooooo...
Using the word resigning to my fate reminds me of a scenario which urghhhh dont get it....since when i resign to my fate. I said it many times but i haven done it. Have i achieved that? im happy if i did finally. It is an assumption and accusation. Sometimes clarify the misunderstanding results in arguments, cos in clarifications, i tend to fight. Which yes this definitely is not worth fighting for, such a small matter. Malign malign lor. Internal struggle...maybe i will go crazy soon. Still, im grateful for those who kept me sane, im actually happy that pple come and feedback to me on their own accord, it is like they know it is good for me, thus they tell me. They actually bother doing so. Grateful to all those who shared their thots, and im also glad that i spared the time to listen. The pace has slowed down. And i reckon this as the change in choices i made. Again surprised and feel blessed to be surrounded by nice pple, as compared to other stories or encounters i heard, im really considered lucky. These are much more important life lessons than jus rushing to complete mindless tasks and emails. As much as im impatient to change, it isnt easy until i can reach a point to stop myself in time. And also to advocate the right mindset fundamentally.
