Spanners jus dropped from the sky. Frens are right..the wedding is somehow executed for pple. Im not loathing it totally...but time isnt on my side. Make me more miserable when have to execute this and that jus cos of pple's want. Cant flare up at pple cos not their fault and they have good intents, so stomaching in all sorrows and complaints. Breeding bad mood tho.
Right at the start, everyone also dunno wat r the traditions, so everyone say up to us, ya keep it simple. Then all prata, super amazing...especially after LNY! Tats it......LNY is the culprit. Light bulb appeared above my head. Now i know why. Somehow this wedding got into pple's conversations at LNY, then suddenly they learnt many things and traditions then start telling us this and that. Suddenly the load increase. Scope creep. Coordinate here and there. One change need to chk with so many parties.
Suddenly bridal table need to mix families, then cos pple buay gum, cannot put pple sit tog, then need to reshuffle. Pple higher in rank in terms of 辈分 or eldest in the family mus put at certain tables...why suddenly so many rules one. I think dont show them the seatin plans better. Once shown and briefed, suddenly form a tsunami of qns and complaints and comments. Overwhelmed.
Have been nagged at getting the gold necklace by sat, cant find one tat is nice..why want to force me to buy, why cannot give me the cash instead....Suddenly papa got request on the number of boxes of cakes cos need to offer to ancestors...while nv communicate...ok la...maybe now then get serious, start to think of the details. MIL suddenly go and 算时辰for 过大礼 then my poor parents are on shifts, got to accommodate n i had to be the messenger. The stupid shop cannot accommodate us the timing to bring my dad to make his blazer...i really wanna flip table le...so hard to get common timeslot leh. If only everyone autopilots...why do i need to be in the picture? Hotel mgr also somehow got space contraints, need to rearrange the tables. Merv keep wanting to engage the vg which i really think dun nid...we haven even arrange to speak to pg. really gg. I know i shld be blogging happier moments for a better memory when i read back this blog in future...well shrugs...thats why i need to change my mindset from now on...be in a more celebration mode and face the challenges positively...when i asked pple how, they jus say : can be pretty and smile, everything pple do for u, like a star. Tho i disagree, n i dun yearn to be a star, i accepted their ans la...ok lor...tats how...either i find my own how, or i try psycho-ing myself to be like them.
Even work also, how come im in the middle when i dun haf any value add at all....policy call, other pple's systems, once settle, we can come in to support and execute lor. Then when stuck in middle, pple dun want to ans me leh...so stuck...then pple like to call for mtgs, when there is no common slot le. Why cant they settle among themselves ah? There r like more than one case liao. sea games is like tat. T4 dunno how many systems kenna liao...sometimes pple directed the qns which are like "why ask me?" For eg, if need to customise fcsu how....go to system owner and do change request lor.... Do i look like a search engine? V minor la....jus increase my airtime unnecessarily cos i wanna do my own work...spending time answering too many qns are really bad for my own time mgmt and also my brain energy mgmt...by the end of the day...shag. Im nt like unhappy to help pple, happy to do so...but when become drained, i wan to avoid and will want to hide. Then the sianzness and escapism mode set in...i dun even want to appear or involve in it so that im not soaked in unnecessarily. Otherwise i dunno how to help myself to avoid being jaded. Maybe jus say dunno everytime, then pple will stop asking u. It used to be fun, to listen and know more, interesting new pieces of info. But now, ironically, im avoiding such opportunities...i dont want to reach this burnt out stage really, when u start shunning away. Boohoo. Even for my life proj, im alr carrying this "hahhh??why mus i do it?" attitude....v terrible hor...so unmotivated. C'mon! Need to pick myself up again. Start with embracing more wedding spanners this one last wk.
LNY was fun, alot of exchanges of pple's life. Experiences, encounters, stories telling...v interesting...i can jus listen leisurely. Appreciate that they share and teach and advise. Also realised something when hengheng, jm's 2-yr old kid calls me mark mark and hehehe. V cute boy. He has this blur look. And curiously observing our responses...it is my natural response to imagine lotsa qn marks above his head...then i jus articulate out so he starts following wat i said. Like when i say question pause, he can complete it with mark...so hilarious. So ya ive been using qn mark so often such that my frens also realise they got influence by me...till the pt i asked whats the replacement for it? "pple wonder why" , "huhhh???", "pple give blank look". But qn mark is so easy to use. So my fren tag me as qn mark auntie. Ive upgraded myself to the auntie lvl le la...ya realise fren's in the same gen wont ask their kid to call us zjie zjie. Maybe i shld ask them to call me what my p4 cousin called me, hua jie... So cool. As compared to mark mark, hua hua, jen jen, xiaolin, ferfer. Why nicknames all come in twos huh? V gay leh. Like one word is more cool ma. Fun part of life.
Next phase of learning more abt furniture, household appliance, cooking skills etc....i really wan to embrace them n look forward to picking those skills up and become a master of it...i cannot keep detesting all these to-dos, else life really sux le...pray hard not to reach that stage of depression sia...stay happy and motivated always. Need the drive in life...im lucky to have amazing egs around me to learn frm. The zest and tenacity in them...clapssss.
