Discoveries of self and others at work

Slotting in an entry....wkend dun even haf time to finish bloggin the iceland trip.

Was thinking what shld the title of this entry be. Then decided that i shall jus go with the thots, i will get back to the title later.

I know i really need to train my writing skills more. Sometimes i wonder if it is broken english....what was i writing, what so i mean, what was my point? Mental blocks while forming sentences seem more often than usual. Not fluent, not fast. My friend commented on the english lang of an email. I re-read it, indeed. Almost flawless. Especially impressive if it is written once without vetting. Power.

So the wk when i got back from honeymoon, fell sick, had 2 day mc and the long wkend to recover. The bug was really strong, made me feel better abit then threw me back into the quick sand, struggling to stay alive. The aches were all over, whole body felt weak, the throat and nose made me more tired. But i was really zen. Like controlled by the bug, i move with care, as if i have a bowl on top of my head. Good actually, cos i wasnt rushing and in a flustered mode. U know usually my flustered mode starts when my patience wears thin, then will rush into closing the issue. Since you dont get it, can we jus stop and end here? Of cos it is a bit unfair cos the person i was conversing with had not finished his piece. But when i am zen, i am jus doing onr ear in one ear out. I jus had to point out when something goes wrong. Sometimes i wonder why pple can accept and then later complain behind, did they only realise it later? Or they can really let it go and let the person "win" at that pt in time. When it is obviously not the right way to do it. The considerations were not raised cos they jus want to end the mtg, it is smth they can let go. But i cant. How torturous.

Another one is pple dont do their part after it was discussed and work is distributed. T4. What did the world do during the one month? But they did provide good info, they can be historians, all the happenings they are aware, jus lacking one coordinator, nobody stepped up and all was held in a deadlock cos nobody knows what to do next. Nobody raised and all kept quiet. Then finally jus say, "well i am only one person, there is so much i can do" and "ok i am no good thats why dunno how to do". Full stop. What do u expect to say? So we continue to keep quiet? When everyone is waiting for IT and nobody cares that their own team is the show stopper? At least try to priortise right and raise proactively. Not like sit there and wait for things to happen. So obviously kenna lecturing la. Straight to the pt, no time to waste on scolding, i think humiliated ba cos so straightforward and in front of everyone. Detail next action and action in charge, action in charge better update if it has been done. Cannot do or dunno how to do, u better raise. I am not scolding for not doing (tho subtlely), i am scolding for keeping quiet. Damn pissed. So i volunteer stupidly lor, who dunno i cover but u must let me know. Apparently, they manage to close some of issues these 2 days. Good progress and thank them publicly also lor. That is why there is a difference in dunno how to do vs nv bother to do. Anyway, due to the difference since fri, i am appreciative that they listened instead of one ear in one ear out. As long as it is learnt and improved for future, it is enough. Being sceptical as usual, let's see how long this last.

Mpas. Also lack of coordination and proper holistic think through, what happened, why and whats next then for what. After doing, where are the results documented? Proof of how far is the jump, sceptical me cannot be convinced by subjective phrases like quite far or quite ok.  Can we quantify? And tabulate then need to analyse the data. Strong team yet a weak one, or maybe a scattered one, the resources not tapped upon fully. Not new. This is another round, but obviously better, less scattered than the first. As usual, ask for volunteer nobody volunteer one. I applaud how the instructors trained our squad to be so proactive, whatever shit work, someone will jus volunteer. And siao onz pple jus volunteer everytime to score points. Smart pple take turns to volunteer. What good culture as compared to all keep quiet....stay low profile, nobody find out even better. So nvm i volunteer myself and arrow someone else with me. Next task how, no volunteer again. Still lacking...if only i dun nid to step in, if only someone could step up. I really need to find a way to auto pilot this. Having said all these, the team is strong, they know wat was done and brain pool eliminates confusion, it all jus unravels at the table. It is beauty. Beauty of team work. All i did was asking, facilitating, i know the least among all. So after i ask if u can do what i jus did. The ans is learning, nt easy but it is sufficient. Well answered.

Too much load still. Damn...the wave of events happening is non trivial, 11 hours at desk without much rest still cannot complete..too many coming in. And some are created by people, it is not even my problem, why am i contacted? Then i can hear that they will try to thank me sincerely at the end of the phone call, and i will feel bad for being so flustered explaining. Cos want to explain fast ma...why u dont understand. Do i have low tolerance for pple who are not smart thinkers? I think i appear so, cos of being too outcome focus. But come to think of it, i am not really coz im more appalled by pple who pay lip service and sit there wait for things to happen, no effort to try to contribute. If u try, u wont be blamed. Like i tried to do this this but it is not working. U know, show some effort of contributing. Shrugs. What is my own job match? Honestly...pple who told me that it is not a job match couldnt tell me what kind of work shld i be doing. I even tried imagining training the horse in iceland. No way. If i role play the different occupation in the mind, which would be more driven to wake up every morning for?

Day 3 - South of Iceland

9am - picked up from hotel to the first stop at Seljalandsfoss. very slippery to walk all the way behind the waterfall, only went up abit as there isnt much time left for us to walk carefully around it. a pity. but jus standing in front of it watching the water tumbles down into the plunge pool provides energy.

1pm - next stop to the Skogafoss. I like this more, somehow. We get to climb up all the way to the top for this one.

230pm - and then to the black sand beach. tough place to overcome. the wind is simply too strong, sweeping sand all over us. and certain waves are super painful, it is like throwing a pail of sand forcefully at us. we had to shield our face and for the camera, we had to eat some sand grains. can imagine how much sand we bring back to the hotel. we hid behind the rock formation for awhile. and oh, the waves are really strong, in history it had claimed lives here before. you wouldnt know when the next wave is stronger such that it sweeps alot further up the beach. there was a guy who went quite far out. people were shouting at him to come back up. dont think he can hear. but he backstepped eventually when the waves were like almost swallowing him up...so dangerous. helpless. if it happens, it will be too late.

6pm - and finally to the famous Jokulsarlon glacier lagoon. really wow. super pretty. not enough time tho. sad, wish that we can stop here longer. then the guide told us that we will be back tomorrow. so yayyy.

then we checked into the log house for the night, and the dinner was really like fine dining, cos we had to mingle for a long time before the food is served. we ordered lamb and cod. yea was exhausted at the end of the meal. interesting stories from the group mates tho.

Day 1 n 2: Reykjavik - south of iceland

Like those flashback movie, I will conclude the Iceland trip first. Mainly 2 points. First, I learn that mother nature can be ironically amazing and merciless, wows us with the incredible formations which prolly contribute to making studying Geography interesting for me in sec sch and more wows with the display of the aurora borealis in the starry night; yet she can, at free will, give rain for 5 min and then sunshine for another 5, before dropping hailstones on earth, causing people to run for shelter, then it changes to snow for the next entire hour. She can create sudden gust of wind and they come at full speed such that the ski resort has to close and evacuate all skiers back down. In the wind, the sand was hurled at all, it is as if we had gone through punishment. ouch.. so we are lucky to have experienced all these, and they do not appear in the first 5 days, maybe a little of it, of the ever changing weather and we learn that there is no need to plan to go on a trip in good weather as the plan will never be materialized. so luckily we stayed long enough to get a taste of what the Icelandic people experience there. we were told that we missed the worst storm in Iceland in a decade or so as the day before we landed, all flights were cancelled and everybody had to stay indoors. But well we manage to catch the strongest geo magnetic storm in a decade on 17 Mar so as to see the northern lights in the form of an angel, really super wow.

that was a long first point. the second point, Icelandic people are resilient people and they are always prepared. the above is explanatory I hope. their attitude in life is different, they accept, well they had to, and they adapt. feel ashamed comparing them to myself, too sheltered, that's why we have the luxury to complain. weather is not the only thing they do not complain about, have seen some people interactions, or maybe they complain behind their backs haha I dunno, but I thought they handle the situations well. the style of coping what appears in life is applicable, and of course they are very friendly and hospitable, and very keen to learn, judging from the questions they ask the foreigners. very smart people I thought, and they are fluent bilinguals too. anyway I salute their attitude in life n I wish to learn from it. the beauty of travelling really, grateful to have the chance for the exposure, learn more things than anywhere else if you are pursuer and with the willingness to integrate with them.

11 Mar , 3-4pm - we arrived at the capital of Iceland finally, after the 24-hour flight including transiting time at Helsinki and Stockholm respectively. I cant recall how did we manage to kill time already. breathed in the first breath of fresh Icelandic air the moment we got off the flight, and we got picked up by a cab driver to the fosshotel baron. nice room with its own stove for cooking. so we jus stroll abit in town and went to the supermarket to see what they sell.

12 Mar 9pm - picked up at hotel by reykjavik excursion. drove a lot. the usual package tour with lots of on-the-road hours. but then prolly no choice cos the places are really far apart. it is like 4 stops of max of 1 hour each but the duration of the whole day trip is from 9 - 6pm.

11am - reached the geothermal heated greenhouse where they grow tomatoes and with bees to help in pollination plus producing honey.

12pm - reached the Geysir Spouting spring. walked around the icy area and waiting patiently for the geyser to spout water from the ground every 7min. just before the water gushes upwards into the air, the water in the pool form a super big bubble , all ready to spurt upwards. there are many holes there, but leave one active. for some of the other smaller ones, can still see steam from the geothermal water pots.

2pm - the famous Gulfoss, Golden Waterfall. Brrr...so difficult to even take out the gloves to take the pic using the camera. my beanie got blown away!! the snow was really thick, and while I was thinking which path to take to retrieve it, a kind man offered to help. aiyo the wind is so zek ar, it blows the beanie away as he was bending over to get it such that he had to chase after it. feel so apologetic but he joked that no trouble on this side, but I wouldn't try to get it if the wind blows the other way and he pointed towards the other side where the waterfall is. hahaha..

4pm - Þingvellir (it doesn't start with a P, it's Icelandic character, translated to Th)  National Park.

we suspect it is nicer in the summer, and I googled, proven so. anyhow, I guess like japan, the landscape brings different beauty. for some of the mountains in Iceland, we were grateful for the snow which enhances and bring brightness in contrast to the black basaltic rocks and prolly some green from the moss or other plants.

then finally back to the hotel where we went marketing and made our own dinner.