Burnt quite a few calories scrubbing 4 tiles

Really hazy. Psi was above 200. It is giving me headache. I tried to stay indoors, pple were masked along the streets, the smell was really horrible. I think the haze is also making me more lethargic than usual.

Finally booked the tw tix, my bro is really imba, say one month plus, haven even done anything. U know why im a type a person? It is not cos im enjoying leh. I was want to get it off the list...else the list is never ending and u know things kinda snowball as days passed. Watching the fares go up and having no rooms available add to the stress. Jus get it checked man. Everyone has 1001 things to do in the queue. So now left accom. U know reading reviews to me is a chore. Sighz...i have to push it to the wkend. 

Ate yummy home cooked udon for bfast. And we went trivelis and thats where we really jus switch on the aircon, really dont want to risk breathing in the haze. Yucks. We really dont need 4 split units in the house. One aircon is enough. It is so small.....so fast to mop the floor. It is done in a flash.

I scrubbed the glass, magic clean n the sponge helps for sure. The stubborn stains refuse to come out with cloth. Then the tiles, i scrub till i think the sponge is giving way still cant. Covered 4 tiles in the bathroom. Gave up. I concluded that magic clean is nt suitable for tiles. I need pro tile cleaner. Wat on earth are those stains....cement? 

Lunch then come back and unpack 2 of my bags.. Not me. Mil did. She jus wiped everything, categorised them and asked me to pack into the pedestal. I did. Then she was at the other end, removing them from the pedestal! I was like eh, why u keep taking out, then i will nv finish leh and i keep luffing...she also luff with me...gosh hilarious leh. Then she cannot put like that. Orh. I watched, and stoned. She put things in then take out again and arrange them in another way, trying to optimise the space. And she says she loves packing. What great news! How wonderful leh...happy packing!! I will serve u anything u need, so i went getting cloth, screw driver, put things in the kitchen etc. then i say i think i have at least 3 more bags. And she say oh have to categorise again....waaaa.....bring in bring out is fun?! Thanks man. Haha im happy that she enjoys doing it.

Collaborative meetings vs paint-rosy-picture meetings

We had a taste of the former today, not the only time, but the most recent one. A great eg of what team work is. The collaboration attitudes by everyone, chipping in with opinions and giving suggestions, guidance, in a sharing mode. By this, i mean literally everyone, regardless of rank. So yes, naturally comes respect and gratitude, for the time spent in sharing thots n views. Clap x 3. Even with miscomm, with misunderstanding, wrong sentences made, apologies and then jus clarify. Can also sense the benovolence from the highest rank, had also acknowledged the hard work and rigorous thinking had taken place before the session. How kind. Maybe it is the right strategy to send only the lower ranks over, shrugs, dunno, could be one of the reasons and also less hard on us since we had worked so hard. The assistance rendered is much appreciated.

So much difference from the latter. In the past, we all fronted mgmt directly, without fear, seriously what's there to fear? the bosses added on, or corrected, no need to waste time to rehearse. i din know the answer until joined the new div. sigh..why mus shelter? V weird measure and to think that big boss feedback to boss with eh u shld manage ur staff? Dotz....this is the gen gap...where is the freedom of speech? Say anything wrong, nvm, jus clarify like today. Why are there such caution taken to make sure the staff speak the "right" thing? N the boss will jump and say no no no and then quickly cover it all up. Like cant they jus say, no actually it is not right to the staff and all, it should be... Like jus correct explicitly la, why need to secretly and hastily cover up as if u have commited a crime. And pls do not give the vibes of fingerpointing. Wrong wrong, admit to the mistake, dun signal, next time dun say anything.....crap leh, what kind of guidance is this? Like nobody else thinks it is a grave mistake except you, trying so desperately to cover and put down the staff in front of all.

Today, im more willing to support the leaders. And besides everyone of us chip in, spoke and fill in the gaps. Doesnt matter if it is wrongly explained due to misinterpretations or simply wrong info. Well managed really. When u admit ur mistakes, pple are also more receptive and will not blame u. Imagine ur own team mates doing the "shit u shouldnt have said that" to u. What do u learn at the end? Not to speak again next time lor. Stupid culture.

Since sec sch, i alr condemn the graders coming to the school and grading the unit's performance. First we know the date of grading, secondly we know the criteria of grading. So everything that day was acted out. And then the unit gets the gold medal. Anything to be proud of? Yes u acted well. Despicable. So the whole year, the other 51 wks, i dun care how u manage the unit, u r jus assessed on that day. Why mus we do such ridiculous acting? What do u learn at the end. Nothing, except to wayang. Horrible culture which i will nv follow. U want to grade a unit, u grade them unaware and over a few times. Why do we learn to take average empirical values in science labs? There is a reason for it.

Why need to be so in control, to paint this rosy picture, a fully wayang show? What is the explicit goal? A great team in acting? To be perceived that u have a strong team? Note the word perceive. Or u shld be displaying how u have managed a diverse team, putting pple in the right job and delivering every outcome as a team. Does it matter if u have every strong individuals who when put together cant perform? Shouldnt u let pple be, embraces the diverse styles, and the individual may not look like a gem, but when they are put together, they are a wondrous sight. Cant u stop moulding individuals into the gem u wanted to be polished? And especially polished the way u wanted, worse than jus polished at the side he/she wanted to.

A wonderful team and a wonderful experience is like today, i hope there r more of such mtgs. Where there is learning value and most imptly, u feel good coming out of it, all ready to polish the slides even with late discussions. Everyone fought and persevered together.

The art of endurance

Shall master this skill. Jus curse and swear deep in the heart. I would be enlightened when i dun nid to curse and swear silently anymore. Now i can let go pretty quickly, like snap of the finger. C'mon jus ignore, it is jus not worth and detrimental to my own health. Dun nid to gek. jus be stunned like vegetable and hum the un un unbelievable song. Shrugs. I m so gg to master it, like total ignore, not affected at all, then i dun even nid to let it go cos it didnt even get to me ...whoa i hope i can attain this and the super aura shield will reflect all these lousy vibes away. Stay happy, retain my usual self. So many have obtained this skill alr, so can i. Shldnt be difficult. Jus wear a mask. Haha hide a knife inside. give up and pass thru, u know, dun even bother, let alone let it bother u. Jus the thot of it alr let disgust take over the console. Ya all sit down and read newspaper or magazines, do ur own stuff.

How glad to have polling day on fri for election 2015 . A national public holiday

Of cos im refraining from publicly posting views abt politics. Not cos of fear, actually i dont bother to. Thanks to many who had exchanged views. I had my fair share of voicing mine. There is 共鸣 and there is 平衡. Good right? U dont go too extreme and over believe in urself and in ur own world. There is no representative and there is no guarantee to how pple work, the quality and the speed. The expectation and the interpretation. The deliverables and implications. 

Superb dinner hang out and housevisiting, too bad hubert couldnt join us. Willy is really kind, deep from my heart, im really impressed by his kindness, the innocence, the honesty and integrity, well mannered and the ability to survive, not to mention modest and n keep learning. Haha he really shoot me in the heart. 你是德明的leh. Gosh, i was stabbed, reminds me at how lousy my mandarin is, cos i was complaining abt how difficult to use tao bao is. We exchanged many experiences, comapred deals and also the product knowledge. A few days back, i had to translate a political survey to my dad, and thats when i know all the parties chinese name. And ya thanks dad for listening to me patiently, i reslly think my translation sucks. Deproved damn alot. Honwei was humourous as usual, v straightforward too, so farnie, we can really tell when he loves or hates something, so open book too. Ya too becos im accused of being an open book too. His hobby is really imba, greatest asset in his house, the fish tank which has ups and scada. Boy, i was in a shock. Yes the whole thing cost 10k?!?!

Willy's place is v nicely decorated, simply and cosy, what surprises me is 100% warm lighting tho. And 80% of his stuff is frm taobao, super good deal. Now he is monitoring quality and ability to last. He gave all credit to his wifey who has id background, kudos to her really. Both have specific dates to move in so they will be taking leave. We chatted abt happenings in t4 too, and then we think back, the time when we first joined. Wow we know each other for at least 7 yrs, time in ered, time in kk, and now in t4, in each others' house and ya we wonder what will be the state of us all 5 yrs later. True casual pals who know one another well enuff and who accommodate to one another's liking. Natural click. We wish ourselves harmony and happiness, there's more to life than the dusty construction site but it is also where it will bring us memories next time. Jiayou!

The first wkend of september

Read this article about emergency doctors. I have always loathe the medical industry. They didnt manage it well. Things gone wrong and they are at the expense of patients' health and worse, lives. It is unforgivable. This article explains why. Ya, the percentage of these medicinal practitioners beiing burnout is high. Why didnt i empathise with them earlier, didnt realise until i experienced burnout myself. The ordeal of young doctors: overworked, sleep deprived and steeped in a culture that u suck it up.everyone u meet, u think, might be smarter n more capable than u - and u are the only one struggling.

In the past i am ready to do anything for anything, wont even deem it as sacrificing, it is passion and responsibility at work i guess. Then over time, somehow the environment has changed pple's thinking, why do i need to this? We all know the reasons behind this change of attitude. It is the responsibility of the environment creators to preserve the good hearted culture. Relieved to see that there r a group of doctors who r looking into programs to help these doctors. At a workplace, r there such workplace creators who assist the officers? I m doing it, as i know im a victim, so it is within my control to stop this from breeding.

Housewarming at dawson was quite fun, we gathered. Bbq at rainforest too, and a fren in the same industry have the same sentiments of wanting to strangle pple who r consistently inconsistent. How productive, seriously. Roll eyes. So many pple complain abt a certain phenomenon which we all witness, n this spread in the industry, different organisations witnessing the same thing. Gd luck to those who r oblivious to such happening and even better luck if they continue to indulge in their own world, thinking they r superior to anyone else. And simply jus becos they achieve? Urgh, firstly, all roads lead to rome, be flexible and open to others' methods, let them pave their own roads n u may learn this new path created by others. Secondly, where is the guarantee that the past methods work in this era. Really man.....incorrigible. Frens nicely put there r much more things in life, lets all not be intoxicated by such presence. And it is so true. N we get to hear experiences frm other industries. So cool. So many happenings in the parallel universe.tats what makes life fun, when u get to see more especially when u listen to others instead of being a frog in the well. Fun and humorous peeps, haha glad to force myself over despite being so tired and sleepy.

Facts of life or are they choices that one can make for things to happen

I let sadness take over the console, else yes, it will be anger. Disgust was like ... Joy was like watching in awe. Fear is relaxed, nothing to do.

We r going in circles and in order to break out of it, and to go back to the original qn i had to use analogy, i thot if i can get some answers, i can apply it on the real issue and prolly avoid the saga all over again. And this time i had witness, many things are not linked. It is not abt intelligence or capability. Shared perceptions and same sentiments, and yet no ways to solve it. Why? The conversation is not going anywhere, the time invested is meant to solve the problem and try avoid such happenings again.

So 2 fundamental flaws or the root cause for de synced prolly. 

Life will be difficult unless we r not human and at least not until it is over.

No this will happen again.

Holding on to these 2 beliefs are not justifying for the time invested.

Why isnt the qn answered directly? Then when i let any wronged accusations pass, i will be provoked to why did it happen. I can let things pass, but dont come and qn why was it not defended. It is an infinite loop when pple ans and u dun like it then want to accuse pple cannot ans or defend. 

Defending feedback, not right. Agreed. Exactly, then later come and blame others for something u r a culprit of. Wat on earth. Shakes head. The train of thots are not jus derailed, the whole rail was moving until dunno where, lost in space. Not focus, digress until sibei jialat, so ya conversation doesnt lead to any improvement in future dealings. Keep thinking one is right is not gg to help either, keep insisting one's style is right and proven effective is not helping. Cos that was the wrong focus. When u converse with someone, u address the other's concern and help the other to help u for a better future. No where near. Even starting to perceive and doubt that there isnt active listening, jus waiting for the voice to end, so that the points can be made or conveyed. While the other voice is on, the mind is cooking the next sentence when it is time to speak, obviously not right. This is a perception and assumption, but it could be the cause if this is really what is happening. And pple dont say with conviction that one's assumptions are right. U know it is an assumption, ask if it is right, u do not judge whether u r right. When pple dont correct, it is becos they dont bother to, doesnt mean consent, pple jus let it pass, doesnt mean u r right with ur assumptions. If one takes joy in triumph, there is questionable intent as not moving towards a win-win at all.

Anyhow, the contrast makes some real friends more valuable. They feedback and try to balance the situation, with certain assumptions which may be right or wrong, but the intent is to calm the nerves. They support with objectivity, they listen and they provide suggestions and advices which r worth listening or learning, all up to the learner. Mentors in life are chosen by oneself, not to tell others to learn from them. Friends support thru assistance in one's development, even tho not always in agreement. The intent is always genuine, good, and direct, not beat ard the bush and trying to confuse. Im fortunate to have at least 5 at work.  They help. Outside work, kids are superb mentors for how they handle certain things, of cos the wise old ones and those who kindly shared experiences. Pple do not say facts of life, what? Resigning to ur fate? There r many ways, many roads, many choices. Wat kind of advice?! Listening, but not picking up. My choice. Dun tell me wat to do, pple can assess for themselves, dun judge pple, especially their ability to comprehend. Those are judgements and assumptions, u do not know their train of thots, becos u dun communicate or converse. The so called conversations are one way and one sided and seriously pple jus let it pass. Dun think u r giving advices which are useful to others. Useful or not, judged by the audience. See, this is letting anger take over, thats it. I had controlled it alr, n i do not need to let anyone know and still take in lectures at how well pple are doing. Thanks to all emotions controlling the consoles. Inside out is really a good concept, tho of cos the storyboard has some minor loopholes.

Not worth to be affected at all, also alr do not find telling the truth helps. This is bad development for myself, thus i choose to leave. Jus horrible, i will not train myself into someone i hate. Will not allow, and frens respect that and help me with achieving it. Thats the difference with what is called a fren, despite styles are different. Seriously, why would a person jump at the chance to blame? Really, never read email cos it is blue, what does it prove? Read on the ipad but not sync with laptop then assume nv read? Fine lor, i dun bother explaining anymore. I can let it pass, if im not provoked and better dont raise it again as any supporting evidence for a position or statement. More than 2 pple shared same sentiments. Gd, i feel im not the only odd one to feel this way, feel supported. But it is a trivial eg, the person may not have meant it, but had let pple perceived it this way. This fundamental intent i would have given the benefit of doubt for someone with a gd heart. Otherwise, sorry, not someone in my circle of frens, and im totally fine if im not in yours too. I will prolly stay for someone but i will not leave cos of another, not worth it, jus cos of one person. I have many others to learn from actually, those who are worth learning frm, my choice. Tryin not to let resentment build up. Do not be provoked. It is within my control to build and be in a happy workplace and feel fulfilled with everyone else on the same thing, achieved together, those solo ones can fly alone, their choice too. Ganbatte to everyone who r real team players. Will not allow any one to destroy it. Have wasted so much tears. Damn.