We r going in circles and in order to break out of it, and to go back to the original qn i had to use analogy, i thot if i can get some answers, i can apply it on the real issue and prolly avoid the saga all over again. And this time i had witness, many things are not linked. It is not abt intelligence or capability. Shared perceptions and same sentiments, and yet no ways to solve it. Why? The conversation is not going anywhere, the time invested is meant to solve the problem and try avoid such happenings again.
So 2 fundamental flaws or the root cause for de synced prolly.
Life will be difficult unless we r not human and at least not until it is over.
No this will happen again.
Holding on to these 2 beliefs are not justifying for the time invested.
Why isnt the qn answered directly? Then when i let any wronged accusations pass, i will be provoked to why did it happen. I can let things pass, but dont come and qn why was it not defended. It is an infinite loop when pple ans and u dun like it then want to accuse pple cannot ans or defend.
Defending feedback, not right. Agreed. Exactly, then later come and blame others for something u r a culprit of. Wat on earth. Shakes head. The train of thots are not jus derailed, the whole rail was moving until dunno where, lost in space. Not focus, digress until sibei jialat, so ya conversation doesnt lead to any improvement in future dealings. Keep thinking one is right is not gg to help either, keep insisting one's style is right and proven effective is not helping. Cos that was the wrong focus. When u converse with someone, u address the other's concern and help the other to help u for a better future. No where near. Even starting to perceive and doubt that there isnt active listening, jus waiting for the voice to end, so that the points can be made or conveyed. While the other voice is on, the mind is cooking the next sentence when it is time to speak, obviously not right. This is a perception and assumption, but it could be the cause if this is really what is happening. And pple dont say with conviction that one's assumptions are right. U know it is an assumption, ask if it is right, u do not judge whether u r right. When pple dont correct, it is becos they dont bother to, doesnt mean consent, pple jus let it pass, doesnt mean u r right with ur assumptions. If one takes joy in triumph, there is questionable intent as not moving towards a win-win at all.
Anyhow, the contrast makes some real friends more valuable. They feedback and try to balance the situation, with certain assumptions which may be right or wrong, but the intent is to calm the nerves. They support with objectivity, they listen and they provide suggestions and advices which r worth listening or learning, all up to the learner. Mentors in life are chosen by oneself, not to tell others to learn from them. Friends support thru assistance in one's development, even tho not always in agreement. The intent is always genuine, good, and direct, not beat ard the bush and trying to confuse. Im fortunate to have at least 5 at work. They help. Outside work, kids are superb mentors for how they handle certain things, of cos the wise old ones and those who kindly shared experiences. Pple do not say facts of life, what? Resigning to ur fate? There r many ways, many roads, many choices. Wat kind of advice?! Listening, but not picking up. My choice. Dun tell me wat to do, pple can assess for themselves, dun judge pple, especially their ability to comprehend. Those are judgements and assumptions, u do not know their train of thots, becos u dun communicate or converse. The so called conversations are one way and one sided and seriously pple jus let it pass. Dun think u r giving advices which are useful to others. Useful or not, judged by the audience. See, this is letting anger take over, thats it. I had controlled it alr, n i do not need to let anyone know and still take in lectures at how well pple are doing. Thanks to all emotions controlling the consoles. Inside out is really a good concept, tho of cos the storyboard has some minor loopholes.
Not worth to be affected at all, also alr do not find telling the truth helps. This is bad development for myself, thus i choose to leave. Jus horrible, i will not train myself into someone i hate. Will not allow, and frens respect that and help me with achieving it. Thats the difference with what is called a fren, despite styles are different. Seriously, why would a person jump at the chance to blame? Really, never read email cos it is blue, what does it prove? Read on the ipad but not sync with laptop then assume nv read? Fine lor, i dun bother explaining anymore. I can let it pass, if im not provoked and better dont raise it again as any supporting evidence for a position or statement. More than 2 pple shared same sentiments. Gd, i feel im not the only odd one to feel this way, feel supported. But it is a trivial eg, the person may not have meant it, but had let pple perceived it this way. This fundamental intent i would have given the benefit of doubt for someone with a gd heart. Otherwise, sorry, not someone in my circle of frens, and im totally fine if im not in yours too. I will prolly stay for someone but i will not leave cos of another, not worth it, jus cos of one person. I have many others to learn from actually, those who are worth learning frm, my choice. Tryin not to let resentment build up. Do not be provoked. It is within my control to build and be in a happy workplace and feel fulfilled with everyone else on the same thing, achieved together, those solo ones can fly alone, their choice too. Ganbatte to everyone who r real team players. Will not allow any one to destroy it. Have wasted so much tears. Damn.
