A new lunar year of the horse 2014

My eyes felt tired. Too much screen staring? Forced freed from the devices when u r with pple, thus a good thing to interact. Jus had a tiff, nt a good thing to happen on the first day of lny of cos shldnt invite disharmony. My bad for nt controlling it well, lost it after enduring the first two times. Jus had to fight for justice, why does dad always have to criticise mum? Mum doesnt do it so cant he jus let it go? Like the whole world is wrong except him, cant comprehend. Sigh, im not taking sides, jus enuff is enuff. And he jus couldnt stop, i had to walk away to quit the argument.

Other than creepy crawlies, luckily i dont think i fear much things. Prepared to bulldoze, take calculated risk and get out of comfort zone. The kids are scared. Im surprised. All 3. Impeding their own progress. Finally made them realise what are their fears after some probing, for them to find out, why the difference with internship? Agree with my fren who pointed out that when u see a person, u are only seeing 1% of him, u have no idea of the other 99% of what he had been thru.

Gossips indicate how judgemental pple are, or benefit of doubt, how judging they are. I'll deem them the former if i've not experienced it myself at least twice. Of cos they must have their own reasons to form that opinions. Shrugs. Gossips can only be for fun, but when it gets too serious, isnt healthy. Maybe they should nt form too much crap in their mind, wasting energy and time. If u dont like to stay ard the person, jus avoid and stay far away, minimising contact lor. And then there r cases where pple have no choice to stay away, then jus remain neutral, cos the more u remind urself of how much u detest him, u r wasting energy and time harbouring those thots of how irritating the person is. Leading to more complaints and gossips. Jus let go. Some matters are not even worth mentioning, dont get too intoxicated. 

Cousins jus did as well. Bosses who keep their staff in the shadows are beign criticised. Why would they want to do that actually, they have reached a certain lvl wat. Why do they fear that their staff outshine them? Is it an unecessary fear which is detrimental to both himself and his staff? Arent the bosses measured by team outcomes instead of individual outcomes and that if there is competition, shldnt they be competing who is a better master/mentor/coach. Then pple will flock to learn frm him naturally. As u coach, u will learn that u wish that their wings will become stronger for them to take flight and help achieve the outcomes. U will be multiplying urself with the same skills thru the disciples. I would be v interested to understand the psychology of another school of thot. Wat do they see as more beneficial by claiming credit for his own. I rmb the wushu coach's advice, in the team event, everyone needs to showcase the beauty, strength and power of all 8. This is not thru perfecting ur own  stance. A very chim advice. My first qn was how, but i know he wants us to find the how ourselves.

And i was advised to enjoy the chaos of life! Not every fire needs to be put out! Sounds horrifying. Ahhh, is this ironically my fear, unresolved issues? Was also advised to join more social events. We have more time than we think we have. (*honestly thats if im sacrificing slp?). Who doesnt agree with this right? Being totally at ease with pple who accept u for who u r. Jus the unique being with his or her own style, habits and preferences. Either share the same or neutral, never anti. Mutual respect n acceptance. There can be exchanges n i do not wish to have a boring clone. I should aim to be someone like tat, in fact all of us shld. Tats time well spent.

Stop being narcissistic and love others, how many "i love u" can u emsg to someone. C'mon, be more open hearted, no such thing as u can only love one person. U love some pple for certain reasons, for being who they are. Really wonder who invent the question of if ur wife and mum fell into the sea, who will u save if u can only save one, and then use this to measure who he loves more. Can u quantify like tat. Tho im surprised certain pple can, it is a fact. The logic is jus wired in another way.

Recall an article saying pple say iloveu more to the pets than to the pple ard u. And then on the other side, the recipients, how would u feel, some happy, some speechless, some responded genuinely or some nonchalantly. -____-|||

And why must hurry? Makes 2014 sounds like a very rushed year. Find time to gallop on the horseback. No horseshoes.

Life rush

Life rush life dash. 

Felt like ive not written for the longest time. All the thots are either accumulating in the mind or it was lashed out mindlessly during random chats. Thanks to the poor listening ears which have suffered tho.

Im happy to finally receive the ipad air. Missed the first delivery. Who will wait the entire time period for the stuff to arrive? Strange. The service lady was superb tho. Gave her gd ratings. Very customer oriented and well trained. Explored the options and mentioned that she will personally track the order. Im sceptical, but i still half believe wat she said, and she really called to confirm just before delivery as the delivery man will nt call which i dun understand why. once i signed in the itunes, they know it is alr delivered. The smart cover was delivered earlier. The wrong colour, sender apologise for mistake and offered discount for the next purchase. Anyway was within expectation, it will be quite troublesome to do the exchange, tho i jus tried emailing them. At least they responded. No choice. 

Jus had to blog this new toy of the year first, before the rest of it which isnt my inclination to reveal my inner thots, but lets just do it. The "lets" here sounds schizophrenic. Sigh. It is like im an open book. No no im nt usually one la. Expressive doesnt mean all thots are read wat.

So when can i say la vie est belle with zest? Instead of the spirited enjoyment, it's morose. Urgh. I reckon the root cause to be the rush. So why do i need to rush? Im more amazed if pple dun nid to, if i dun rush, i can confirm delay. So why cant jus let it delay. U all r nt wrong also, i dunno either, only aware that this time rush is affecting my attitude. Ive been told that im influential, no harm in spreading blithesome nature or contagious luffter, tho i dun want to spread impatience. I was informed of all 3 by 5 different pple. double edged influence.

Was overwhelmed by the sudden surge of the 2 tenders, frowning most of the time. The scope is ever so confusing. And there is so much work piling up. Looking for a smart way to do it in the shortest time possible, intend to just cut corners by just knowing the gist but i cant. There r way too many details, cant summarise and categorise...urgh. This is on top of the agreement which has so much legal and charging stuff, which cd really made my day by offering to help me out with the section. I showed that i tried but the figures really dun tally. Cannot draft without this inaccuracy right? Tho i upfront think this is alr not my scope, im still grateful for the offer. I had n will usually mentioned it right at the start but if they refuse, i will give up souring r/s over this. So doesnt mean i dun say no. well, proven that u jus had to take it back as it is gg to take more time than expected to debug. N they offered cos they know im busy.

Was impatient at only talks, no actions. If u are jus giving consultancy services, which i obviously had no time to listen to, then id rather not sit thru, i still have to chk on my own, type on my own, might as well find a secluded place and do it quietly. Say equals to never say at all. Im asking for inputs not asking how to do it leh. Of cos i know need to chk la, which needs effort and time right. Duh.... Really test my patience. Somemore alr 10min late for another mtg. I vow that i wont be late for mtgs.

And then last wk, officially listed another one in my blacklist. He has been told, so dun blame me for ignoring. It is not the first time, totally had enuff. Jus ridiculous, it is obviously ur job and u push it away. That definitely means at the expense of someone else. And it has been validated. I thank those who come and tell me that i was too fierce, and i really wanted to apologise for my attitude, im not even in the wrong, but then he jus had to squeeze his way into my blacklist, and so it is granted. 4 now. It is either pple are getting more irritating or im getting less tolerant.

Im sick of pple's expectations. Or rather depends on how u impose. Raising the standard of pple has its effective ways to do it. If im supposed to know, u r supposed to know also wat. U can forget i cannot forget? Somemore the experts are also unsure themselves. Now i know why pple pay lip service, just to fan off all these expectations and unnecessary stress. Chk and get back very gd alr lor. Those pple who dun get back then i will niam. And another i loathe is really punctuality, lousy time mgmt la. Despicable, exactly the point of wasting 50 manhr on the same topic, will be worse if it is for political reasons. Disrespect. The coy is getting more n more political. How many tasks are for show? It used to be better. Horrible culture.

Doing what is right, shldnt it always supercede simple job. Who doesnt prefer simple work? Sometimes things are made more complex lor. Im surprised to find out that im not the only one who thinks so. Surprised cos tho im certain of my own stand, sometimes i also reflect and wonder and start to doubt myself, maybe im the one in the wrong but well.....i hate to complicate matters as jus want to get the tasks off the list, but really the devil is in the details, once u start to think abt them, there r more factors to consider, but it isnt right to keep mum also. They shld be tabled out. Im impressed by those who can crystalise and help me with better thinking n understanding of the matter , and those who confuse, what can i do other than avoid conversations? Not as if i dont have enuff things to mull over.

Sitting in the open space, was disturbed almost every 5 min. Fun loving pple and im sad that i din haf the time to crap longer, i jus want to finish that stack and go for dinner. They will prolly ignore me next time since i had no time for them. Sobz. For real, i sobz, not becos of this reason of cos. there is just too much, i cant even see anything in front of me except for the docs. Emails have snow balled for 2 mths, i dunno how many pple i owe. This is breaking down. I let myself to, that ball of air stuck at my throat, it is like constipated, want to but cant cry out. I forced myself to break down. I jus dun want to lose myself as exactly my advice to others. Be who u r when u first graduated, that attitude was right, trying ur best at everything non schemingly. But being outcome focus, Im relieving u of these tasks to get that one job done and earn ur name to it, sry to tell u sometimes trying ur best is nt enuff, u need to show results, like an athlete. Sry to stress but it is really doing ur major well, ur minors got to cover abit here n there. This is juggling. Dont let everything go to waste without results at the end, prolly after this, i will be done. It isnt being too results oriented, it is logical in a sense that u wont fail ur psle for the 6 yrs effort that has been put it. Yet u cant let this pressure affect ur performance. Haven we all learnt this back in school?

Worries n stress, some mentioned that im too affected by others' situation which are worse than mine, when they cant reach a solution. And i dont have solutions for them. Helpless. Some will hide it frm me, some will tell based on trust. Which are the situations when you deem tat u will betraying either side for either action u take. A pure dilemma. One way is to drop all negative thots, u will naturally attract positivity and really hope for the best, then will nv need to land into such dilemma. N these r the times, one will question : why am i not living a life i deem life ? In fact, u are alr living it. Oops is that being positive?

Simple perfection

Came across these 2 songs a few times already. Both v simple but nice songs. Jus a few keys and chords and yet melodious. And finally got these downloaded into my mp3 collections after last fri destress session. Crazy pple. Destress doesnt really equate to drowning ourselves in asahi right. Anything also can cheers to, so they jus took turns to crap and make sure we drink alot more and faster than the few of us intended to obviously. Five@ccp. Food is jus soso.

Swedish house mafia - dont you worry child
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGA_e-IazMU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Fastball - out of my head
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBv0GoI3GGk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Also caught hobbit - the desolation of smaug, last year which is last wk. Nice one.

Got amazed by the bicycle pics below, watched it being painted frm scratch. The details of the grass are what differentiated the 3rd and the 4th, and they are jus wow, further perfecting an already perfect pic. Sometimes the details impressed more.

gameover with 2013 and game on with 2014

2013 was left with a few days since the return from europe.

Totally sianz and demoralised from the number of emails in the inbox and the things-to-do list in the office. 2014 seems bleak with never ending stuff. Most of the days are packed with mtgs, nothing new, and by the time when i reach back my desk at 6 plus, jus one look at the screen is enuff to prompt me to slam the laptop shut, gently of cos, tho i used the word "slam". Letting out a sigh, i'll jus stand up from the chair, grab my tote and leave the office, after switching off the lights. Nobody else is in the self acclaimed first class cabin. The door with the em lock doesnt slam shut properly, misaligned, thus need a slight pull to close it fully, otherwise the door access is redundant.

What did i do other than settling in back to sg life? not as if i am away for too long such that it takes time for me to tune back. But i sure took 3-4 days to overcome the jet lag. Then there was last min xmas presents shopping which i honestly dun fancy. How can pple find joy in that. And comparing the ease of shopping with or without a shopping list, i've always deem the former easier but no. Urgh, following some wish lists, not even easy to find those stuff! Too late to do online shopping as by the time it delivers, prolly past christmas alr. Wish i had a magic wand.

Then we went to gatherings with home cooked food before and after christmas. On christmas, to chinchao's wedding at mandarin oriental, where i rmb where the food quality is one of the better ones, but they have somehow dropped slightly for a dish or 2. Then this time the uniclique went to a restaurant serving middle east food. Mine's turkish apple crumble as ive had breakfast but the rest arent to our liking. Lucky that i had my food in the morning. Even the apple crumble isnt the typical one. If we ever go middle east, we will need to pack maggee.

Got a taste of the mce on its first day on 29dec, for the usual commuting across the island frm the west to the east. Shakes head. Sigh, enuff talks abt it in the papers too.

30 dec, we were reminiscing where we were on 31 dec for the past few years, as this yr we are jus gg to feed mozzies. Good memories, frm cameron highlands, henderson waves, steve's place, bukit timah and then sungei buloh. Actually i also dunno correct or not. Vaguely, seems right. The division outing on a half working day, new year's eve. And we wondered how many division outings do we have a year? Who keeps track? Prolly the one doing the budgeting.

Then countdown at home, refuse to go to fren's, where it will be rowdy, and i will be made to stay up late for the board and card games. Not to mention the public countdown parties. Too hapz for me. At home, we looked thru the not yet organised photos, enuff to bring some noise and luffter. And we had second round dinner of the newly tried recipe - rosemary plus chapalang seasoned oven-baked chicken, which took exceptionally long. Suspect oven is cui. Like abt 1-2 hrs? Suppose to be this long?

Crossing over to 2014, 1 jan. Slpt in late, then we had brunch, the last min decision to go to room raiders which didnt want to, and then sashimi, oysters and martini at tanuki @ OC. Suppose to be quite famous tho i nv heard of it. And thats it. The new year begins. Welcome my bro to the working world and my cousin to secondary sch life. Wish all great health and having genuine smiles from deep within thruout the year in the lives we will lead to the fullest.