A positive chinese character attached. And so nicely incorporated my fav cartoon character from the american comic. Make me blame myself for nt taking action to learning calligraphy officially.
Forced positivity recently. Dont really feel like doing anything at all. Speaks for itself when my blog has been all quiet. Couldnt form sentences properly these few days too. Like mental block or somehow, there is no flow. Not natural. Comms breakdown.
When i start to draw boundaries, both scope and time, to achieve work life balance, i create backlogs. Real balance, not harmony, meaning equal number of hours spent on work and on personal/leisure and sleep. 3 parts. Cant merge personal/lesiure with work yet. Tho im going to term wedding preparation and furniture/appliances work soon. And tho i do enjoy some parts of work in office, im not going to call it personal/leisure jus yet. The to-do list is nv ending and it really isnt doing me good despite trying real hard to view it as life, jus get thru with it. Make the best of out of it since im alr at it, the slogan that followed me thru school. And then i prolly got to change my approach to seeing not achieving the outcomes, but achieving the process. Gosh. This is hard to swallow. But i think it is a change of mindset, since the things are self created everytime anyway, they dont get cleared. The intermediate tasks are jus part of the process. Sigh, that could result in running around, dunno doing wat, dunno rushing for wat. And this is just relieving some stress off, risk of lowering the standard on achievement also. Reaching the stage of "heck it" while struggling to revisit it back again later on. Or things jus slipped thru unintentionally.
The good progress is reducing work via wasapp on wkends. Starting to develop habit of shunning the phone. Auto unplug, not too much effort required. I can do it easily now, jus throw the phone away and live in the present, away from the virtual world. But it is bad if pple really need to reach me. Got to stop the work chats. Come to think of it, why is it that we cant finish the discussion in office huh and there r so many slave drivers in sg. Dont they need to do other things?
To think that once multi tasking for me is so easy, and i needed it else i will feel bored. Now it drowned me and i cant handle it anymore. Totally reminds me of pri and sec sch maths once can be easily thrashed and then how i got drowned by maths c in jc. Broken in pieces. Dont like to admit that i cant handle, cos tats like giving up, i cant jus give up not taking a's wat. Jus need to overcome level by level like a game. Burnt out will cause one to exit the game, thinking it as meaningless.
Am i even making sense when i type this? Prolly the words dun gel as my thots are in a mess. Forced writing, forced to get the word sianz out of my dictionary.
And really once in awhile, today i enjoyed the morning bus ride and look forward to going to the airport, a feeling that has left me for so long. Tho, it doesnt last long the moment i step out of the lift, at least the positivity is still lingering somewhere.
