This comic is cute. Lol. The constant struggle betw the mind and the heart. Which will u follow? I dont know abt the rest of the human race, i m always stuck in this struggle. Which is really bad right. Tho many times, as long as not at the expense of others, i will jus follow my heart. Freedom is my life motto. YOLO so why mus u do the most logical thing, having said this, my brain likes to take over and fixes everything which doesnt seem right, urghhhh.. See what i mean. It is alr at work. Blogging is fine, i get to just throw out whatever is on my mind, i dont filter much. Becos of my speed, even when i speak, i dont filter much. So yes can be offensive at times, and at times, i dont really mean what it seems to be.
Im quite lazy to use my brain at times, it feels v drained. My fren said that this is called stretched. My facial muscles felt cramp, my brain felt like exploding, i dont fancy this, dont feel at ease, not natural, not fun.
U know i compare the 2 days, thurs and fri. Thurs i went to a damn ulu raintr33 hotel whose name really sound sleazy for a workshop - 5-yr strategic planning. With the mgmt, i only felt out of place. I dont know why im there in the first place. But it is good for exposure. It is actually v interesting. The right move to brain pool for ideas to wow others with our beloved national icon. They shld have an app for pple to post on the walls and to vote. Yes all staff shld be given a chance to participate. The power of crowdsourcing. I also thot of many ideas, these type come up the best at lunch talks, when u can talk freely. So many E pple ard, dying to share their ideas, i wont want to interrupt, jus a barrier that im in no position to. Thats why an app prolly will help, not jus one day but over a period of time, when pple bathe, shit, commute, stone, ideas will jus keep flowing. And i mus say that the presentation was superb leh. The content, the ability to engage, the backgrd, the relevance, the facilitation techniques all there, im really impressed. Reminds me of the sessions at hta hq and yep hq. There r v good speakers ard. They r smart but they dont dominate. They faciliate, that was the crux and i really like this skill cos you encourage pple to share their ideas and when you process and connect the dots, you unravel the universe, the power of brainstorming together. A v constrained session for me, it will be so much fun if i'm with my clique, one session, one day is cfm insufficient. This is cool, sit down to think, to exchange, to share and not jus blindly rushing without a purpose. They need to communicate the purpose of projects outcomes more seriously. It is more purposeful to work like tat. Pple wont mind putting in extra effort for a greater good, a greater cause, the ultimate reason why u even work, other than for the remuneration. And i really jus had to skip their dinner, cos it will nt be fun, i cant talk freely, i dont like some pple and i cant fake and wayang. I know i shld learn how to socialise, actually i can do it easily, but jus not that setting especially i know some styles. I recall steve mentioning the dinner at sweden, some pple are talking to me more, i dunno why he mus mention it, is he jealous or upset? Anyway, i jus cant be myself and i really hate to put myself in such situations. Even tho i v much want to know more pple. Sigh. I will choose to pass. Thats why travel is good right, u start on a clean slate, u dont know anyone, u start to learn more frm strangers. Anyway, i think it is good to put myself outside my comfort zone, i feel stupid among them, cos ya like what frens said, maybe im jus not familiar with the subject, tho it may be consolation that im actually not v smart, since my brain is taxed so much. It seems like working my brain too hard. It hurts. Thats why it is a good move to ops. I need to restart learning some other systems, i got a timeline, i need to pick up fast and deploy it. How? I need to startegise and use others' saws. It is actually a good feeling, cos it is teamwork, i need them, and i need to squeeze my way in to see how i can contribute without disappointing some who have faith in my involvement. Challenge to live up to their expectation, but im willing to take this one up. Bring it on. Im surprised actually, im usually, aiya why mus i do this, sianz leh. This one, i have the drive, missing for a long time. Im glad it is back. And i thank the presence of good influence ard me. The encouragement of these presence drives me.
And so on fri, i voluntarily went on site to support kenny, poor guy, so much weight to be carried, and alone. His boss, his peers (lucky he has us), his staff....or maybe he is not engaging them enuff, or they left him in the lurch i dunno. It is such a fun site walk. The team was there, the pple are so nice. Helping one another to build better comms rooms which are fit for use. To rectify defects without argument. Such a good working relationship, n watching the strengths of all at work. The atmosphere was heartwarming actually. A strong team with a good culture, closely knitted with competence, capability and fun! And i learnt too, mind not too stretched but i learnt what they look out for. Im v eager to learn from subject matter experts and they explain why, thanks for sharing the info, im always v uncomfortable with making pple wasting time explaining to me, so im really grateful. So yes, i love fri, i hate thurs. not the subject, it is the people.
I had a good talk with my new boss too. He has the same mindset as me. Phew. The fundamentals, the values arent clashing. And of cos i know the difference betw us, he is smarter, he is more tactful and he is super good at relationship and presentation, the way he speaks with the rightly timed pauses. Good to have found a role model. He gives me good vibes, that i know he will help me if i need him, less that he is quite busy also. Time may a problem. V pple mgr too, knows what staff needs instead imposing what the staff is expected onto them. I will rmb the content of the chat, i will try to work on it, i hope i progress over the yrs instead of remaining stagnant. And my dear new staff is also not 省油的灯. And my new boss uses quite cheem chinese sia.....haven met such pple for a long time. I mean my chinese is lousy, but there r so many pple worse than mine. Lol. The dunmanians agree when we met at sw's wedding last month, somemore they r c lit pple. We are really surprised that sgporeans mandarin are really quite cmi. I think mine's the worse among my dunmanians frens alr. And so yes nat, i thot she is v gd leh, jus like ilean and isa, i have things to learn frm them, a great start right. Ive heard pple complaining abt how incompetent their staff are, end up they do themselves, im so lucky i guess. And jeff say 马终于遇见他的伯乐. I was like whoa. I really dunno why the complaints abt nat. Sometimes if the boss is not good, not capable of managing and developing staff, then still wanna blame the staff for this and that, and worse, badmouth staff? Dont say smth like haven learnt to run, then want to fly. Everyone's pace is different, how do u know that she cant run? Jus ur assessment, from dunno which stereotype, even if it is, dont need to put pple down. Im sure if u compare the same schling year, she is better than u. So dont put pple down, jus becos you were born a few years earlier. So 嚣张 these, cmi. So judgemental. Anyway yes i debunk most of his judgement, dunno hear from who. And i can hear that he himself is also praising her, even at calibration session. There is a lvl of uncertainty in the judgement, so this is good. Cant label one person as bad yet. Or good. Actually biasness is really scary. Once good, may not be always good. Cannot be one judge good and 10 others judge him to be bad, then he is still considered cos the one judge is oblivious to the surroundings, or jus becos he has higher weight n more say in concluding whether one is good or bad. So the ability to sustain is impt. Jus like the airport. Jus like myself, when i know when i slip, which is still fortunate for me as im aware. I know how to bring it back up, and influence positively while impacting necessary skills selflessly. So yes thanks for reconfirming my own assessment too. Thanks for being open and honest. This r/s shldnt be taken granted.
Honestly, im abit 愧疚, recently they have been saying more. Voicing out more. More of 1 jul. more of nobody to discuss with, more of preference to work tog cos i can cover things they lack such as ability to recognise 360 views and setting clear directions. Lol i take it as compliment. I really think i can set better directions than many others, i know wat risks im taking, instead of leaving it hanging in mid air, thats how staff can execute with peace of mind and with certainty. This will enable them. But im perceived that im weaker in these areas as compared to drive, which is also why i keep sharpening myself in these areas. Ya maybe not good enuff. And yes im sure my execution drops also actually due to workload, but it is still the highest score, so i also wonder why. Maybe i shld find some mentors to chit chat, forgot to ask jeff, but then maybe working r/s not long enuff to tell, tho he mentioned he had watched and know how i work since a long time back. I had a few qn marks at that moment. So fast judge le ah, but well, be it good or bad, maybe i can prove them wrong, tats why once good or bad, may not be forever good or bad. Stamina to sustain is key.
My heart is v much towards nt doing, the gap with the brain is higher now. Less disciplined, more nua. But im enjoying life more, and im termed as farnie and notty by others leh..lol. Cute too. Whatever that means, yes. Lol. Even the new contract staff also wonder why. N he is a good observer . Smart also. If he is nt attached, i think he is superb for ilean.
